Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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