Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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