There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
