He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
