dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
