You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
