So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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