is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
