omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
