It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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