I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
