omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i will never coherently bang her
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize
