that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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