"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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