he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
