The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
