so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My brain says no but my pants say off.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
