My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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