My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
