I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
