Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
