she peed on how many people?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
