youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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