i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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