So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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