Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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