thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
