i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
