omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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