Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
