I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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