Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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