i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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