She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
cat food counts as protein by the way
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
