He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize