I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
