Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
