2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize