ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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