yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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