You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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