theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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