Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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