are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
