haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
