The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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