:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
