Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
