you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
