Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
