Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
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