rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
