She said her name was "party"
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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