The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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