nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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