don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize