omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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