kristin has been a bad kristin
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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