Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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