it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize