I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
