ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
