At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Where are you guys?
Drunk
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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