What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just cut my nipple shaving
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
