Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
