reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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