I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
