i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
sarcasm needs its own font
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
