I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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