He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
