That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
