i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
